Yesteryear

I came across this gem earlier today while scouring YouTube.



Yep, that's Bruce alright. The same guy that played John ""Yippee ki-yay" McClane for the last two decades. Who would have thought McClane spent his time slinging wine coolers, dancing with a bunch of flamboyant dudes when he wasn't winning singlehandedly winning the Cold War, The Gulf War, and the War on Terror?

Look at the bright side, he probably bought a jet with all the money Seagram's forked out.

Law of the Land

Okay, high time we set a record straight here.

First off I think it's safe to say that next to nothing on this blog can be taken as serious, social commentary -- take it with a grain of salt, my friends. Hell, half the time I'm wailing with sarcasm and pseudo-cynicism in an attempt to start dialogue or at the very least offer some sort of modest entertainment to whoever is visiting.

Second. I hate anonymous postings. Yesterday is a big exception as it ended up being from a good friend who had responded to me soon afterwards. I wasn't aware of the apparent scope growing a mustache in November had on the Canadian public, granted. Although I'm still skeptical about how many apparent mustacheers (like musketeer, get it?) are aware of the organization I'm also not running a research savvy blog here. As you'll recall I also challenged Jason Schwartzman to a fist fight not too long ago based on him kissing too many leading ladies. Evidently my content is nonsensical most of the time. Duh.

So, I got this impressively mean spirited response from another "anonymous" type earlier this morning that will likely go without publication because aside from sounding like a tool, this lovely individual also managed to throw some crazy stats at me that are, well, ungrounded at best. Stating that 3/4 mustaches are for prostate cancer research is a pretty bold claim even for me to believe. Ugh, that and I don't really care about who has a mustache and who doesn't.

It's reminiscent of another posting I had a few weeks back when I said "no one was attractive in the 80's" (true, by the way); equally littered with overabundant exclamation points and question marks at the end of each sentence. Thank god there isn't an emoticon setting otherwise here's guessing that thing could have caused seizures. But apparently I either hit a soft spot with my Californication rant or my Movember biases. Seeing as those two were in the same post I reckon that my comparing two months of mustache growing to two Superbowls was also taken way too literally.

I have one main philosophy for this cesspool of wickedness we call the internet:

If you don't like it, don't read it.

Why I do believe that came off twice as sincere as I'd hoped. Succexy, no?

So, otherwise, hits on the site have been getting along swimmingly so far. I hope the rest of you fine folks are a'okay with the content. As for said anonymous post from this morning, odds are it wasn't my ignorance making you sick. That's swine flu, baby.

Too soon?

It feels good to talk.

As promised

Yep, I still stand by my Movember biases BUT that doesn't mean I should be derailing the good intentions of the charity side, right?

Well, when you put it that way.

Doppelganger

So, here's a few things on my mind.

I'm having a lot of trouble watching Californication this time around. Sure, I fell off the wagon last year and, well, the year before that too but whatever charm it might have had has long since got the hell out of Dodge.

I guess the whole charm of Hank Moody as that reflective, regretful, self-deprecating, substance abusing, womanizing, charmer is just thrown out the window this season. I mean, now he's just cheating on the mother of his daughter with a flock of lackluster female characters. It reminds me more of a series of loosely joined sketch comedy skits than anything. There's no real overarching plot, just an uninspired feeling of "what will that Hank Moody do next?"

Hmm, I wasn't planning on actually digging into this too deep today.

It's just lame now, man. That dangerously close to jumping the proverbial shark kind of lame.

Whew. I feel better already.

Moving on.

Is everyone over this whole Movember thing yet? I get it, it's another month of the year you're able to grow a mustache without any shame or pressure from the mustache repelling public. Isn't the infamous Mustache-March enough though? Give me a break fellas, it's over.

Do you bastards even realize what you're doing? We've got the keys to the goddamn castle here. For one entire month of the year we can grow whatever unappealing piece of facial our lil' hearts desire. Do you really want to squander that prize by taking another month to do the same? We're spreading ourselves too thin, friends. There's reason we only have one Superbowl, gentlemen - so we appreciate that glory but once a year.

If March be the Alpha than surely Movember shall be the Omega of our once great crusade.

Just sayin'.

Gavin McInnes formerly of VICE, currently of Street Carnage fame.

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In other news, I just started doing some blogging for Death + Taxes Magazine out of New York. Coincidentally I've also turned to that particular publication for all my online entertainment needs.

Luckily, any mess that I've submitted has miraculously been turned into a passable, coherent read thanks to some witty editing by the fine folks at D + T.

Anyways I've done a couple pieces there if you want to take a look:

The Wooden Sky: A Miserable Bunch Of Bastards

Better To Guest Star Than Fade Away

Caged.

Hmm, I guess Nicolas Cage really is as bad of actor as I always thought.



Can't wait for "Leaving Las Vegas 2".

Make it through the night

It was a hell of a scene last night.

There was this strange and universal anxiety blanketed over the entire bar. Everyone seemed on edge, waiting for that slight spark to start the chaos.

There were fists, there were tears, there were bad vibes and questionable morals running rampant through the minds and actions that come with a sea of Saturday night patrons. Looking for false fondness, fisticuffs, or fraternizing it was one of those weird nights where you know staying could bring about the infamous words "that was a bad idea." I have no doubt that there were as many walk of shames as there were swollen cheeks and bruised knuckles. Like I said, everyone seemed desperate for something.

Don't worry. Dodging modest threats from nobodies I've never seen before and by situating myself between the noticeably bigger clientele present throughout the evening, I walked out with teeth fully intact and a regrettably lighter wallet.

I like to think it's the time of year where everyone releases their pent up tensions before first snow.

It's a theory.

Hip-Hop is dead.

No time for much today (again, sorry).

Luckily the great RH from SPORTS saved the day with another excellent YouTube find.

"Put some perfume so I can smell good" is lyrical mastery, friends.

Check out the link by the way, good stuff all around.

Okay, okay. See you soon.